i started to walk on my own,
i started to smile more often,
i started to laugh louder and louder,
i started to eat more and more,
i started to drink less and less,
i started to understand more things,
i started to pull myself together,
i started to think more like a man,
i started to love myself more.
i am glad to have known you, otherwise,
i will still be living in the fantasy world
the world that only exists in our dream
the world that blinds us all with its beautiful lies
the world that lead us to nowhere
the world that mr anderson has been living
i want to escape from that world.
i want to live life to the fullest.
i want to forgive and forget.
i want to understand the purpose of my existence
i want to find out the truth
Monday, March 30, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Wheel of fortune (Sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga)
the title above says it all.
luck has not been by my side recently, perhaps this is the turning point.
i've been lucky for most of the time in my life, well not this time i guess.
even luck itself needs to take a break.
but why now, why this year, where i have so many obstacles awaits me?
i am in my final year, my judgement day, my future and my everything.
i am speechless, the pain is unbearable.
it hurts, it really does.
FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!
Oh god, just gimme a fucking break will ya, losing someone who is dear to you is already killing me and now u've failed my exam which i need to re-sit again in a condition where my mind is still shaking.
I can't think, i can't concentrate and above all that, i just don't have the mood to do anything right now..
i need a vacation, that's the only way i can heal my wound, to ease the excruciating pain you've caused.
luck has not been by my side recently, perhaps this is the turning point.
i've been lucky for most of the time in my life, well not this time i guess.
even luck itself needs to take a break.
but why now, why this year, where i have so many obstacles awaits me?
i am in my final year, my judgement day, my future and my everything.
i am speechless, the pain is unbearable.
it hurts, it really does.
FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!
Oh god, just gimme a fucking break will ya, losing someone who is dear to you is already killing me and now u've failed my exam which i need to re-sit again in a condition where my mind is still shaking.
I can't think, i can't concentrate and above all that, i just don't have the mood to do anything right now..
i need a vacation, that's the only way i can heal my wound, to ease the excruciating pain you've caused.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Grateful
i can never asked for more, i really am.
i have so many wonderful friends around me, which they never give up on me.
they are my strength for the time being, before i am able to stand up on my own again.
and for that i love u guys so much.
thanks for being there.
thanks for listening.
thanks for lifting me up.
you know who you are.
I love you guys.
XOXO
i have so many wonderful friends around me, which they never give up on me.
they are my strength for the time being, before i am able to stand up on my own again.
and for that i love u guys so much.
thanks for being there.
thanks for listening.
thanks for lifting me up.
you know who you are.
I love you guys.
XOXO
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
emo = (
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me
Saturday, March 07, 2009
toyota wish
it's been a while i have never felt this pain..
which is good because i know i can love someone..
i dont really see myself as a good lover, which is quite true.
i think i should blame myself for everything.
it is completely my fault, and definitely i am too naive.
deep down inside, i do hope we will get back together altho the odds are totally against me.
well hope is just a wish, and sometimes it might come true and sometimes it will only appear in your dream.
and i wish to have you back.
which is good because i know i can love someone..
i dont really see myself as a good lover, which is quite true.
i think i should blame myself for everything.
it is completely my fault, and definitely i am too naive.
deep down inside, i do hope we will get back together altho the odds are totally against me.
well hope is just a wish, and sometimes it might come true and sometimes it will only appear in your dream.
and i wish to have you back.
Friday, March 06, 2009
My mistakes were made for you
My biggest mistake and my biggest regret was sending you away, hopefully you will be the one but it turns out to be the other way round. It was a total backfire.
I was shot mercilessly and the reason that you gave was totally unacceptable for me but nevertheless whether i like it or not, i have got to accept it.
Even it is tearing my heart apart but i guess, life is unfair.
You've said before that you don't know what you want but you know what you don't want, so i guess you are very certain that you don't want me.
And I can't afford to dwell in the past, i have to move on.
I have a dream which i yet to fulfill and i will never give up on my dream.
My parents have high hope on me so is my family and i will be sure to make them proud of me.
I definitely will.
I was shot mercilessly and the reason that you gave was totally unacceptable for me but nevertheless whether i like it or not, i have got to accept it.
Even it is tearing my heart apart but i guess, life is unfair.
You've said before that you don't know what you want but you know what you don't want, so i guess you are very certain that you don't want me.
And I can't afford to dwell in the past, i have to move on.
I have a dream which i yet to fulfill and i will never give up on my dream.
My parents have high hope on me so is my family and i will be sure to make them proud of me.
I definitely will.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Ain't it obvious, karma??
Life is simply amazing. At times you will think that everything is under your control and at times it is just out of control.
I tend to think i am the one who control my own fate perhaps my very own destiny and i guess i was wrong. I was totally wrong. I used to think that long distance relationship wouldn't work out if the foundation wasn't solid enough and i have paid a great price for having such a thought. I was very confident of myself and I thought everything is under my control and everything now just don't seems to be right.
I tend to think i am the one who control my own fate perhaps my very own destiny and i guess i was wrong. I was totally wrong. I used to think that long distance relationship wouldn't work out if the foundation wasn't solid enough and i have paid a great price for having such a thought. I was very confident of myself and I thought everything is under my control and everything now just don't seems to be right.
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